haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
