i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
