Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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