When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize