I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
