Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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