Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
