Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
