I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
