First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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