Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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