office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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