i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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