If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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