i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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