You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize