have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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