you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
