my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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