I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
