they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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