I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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