Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize