I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
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I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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