and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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