i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
