absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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