aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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