Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
