i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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