so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
