i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
COCAINE IS GR8
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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