What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
