The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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