i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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