Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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