lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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