I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
