he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am mentally ready for anal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
