We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
