so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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