She's JV to your varsity
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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