Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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