Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
