I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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