You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
