Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
