he thought i was a dude.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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