Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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