Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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