Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
