the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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