when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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