i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
