I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
