I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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