What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I just want nice things and good sex
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just forgot I was standing up.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
