I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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