I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
