Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh