Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.