You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
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Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
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I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup