Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem

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  (810): none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem http://tfl.nu/6j6s
  Replies (6) Good night (886) Bad night (1457)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother

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  (561): As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother http://tfl.nu/1acl
  Replies (21) Good night (2231) Bad night (565)
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  (+44): View more from England

  why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??

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  (+44): why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star?? http://tfl.nu/ikzh
  Replies (13) Good night (1029) Bad night (3165)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!

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  (506): Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT! http://tfl.nu/lyyu
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (3615)
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  (585): View more from New York

  are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?

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  (585): are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet? http://tfl.nu/shbs
  Replies (31) Good night (5234) Bad night (1880)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.

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  (912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight. http://tfl.nu/g7kq
  Replies (31) Good night (7361) Bad night (714)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?

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  (814): so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar? http://tfl.nu/t8an
  Replies (16) Good night (1477) Bad night (5266)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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  (716): I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one. http://tfl.nu/p9u2
  Replies (5) Good night (1129) Bad night (3947)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.

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  (808): I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup. http://tfl.nu/a5xy
  Replies (4) Good night (857) Bad night (1602)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault

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  (541): We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault http://tfl.nu/ovjn
  Replies (4) Good night (2888) Bad night (812)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.

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  (208): at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time. http://tfl.nu/hxga
  Replies (1) Good night (1527) Bad night (571)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.

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  (813): The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job. http://tfl.nu/jr9a
  Replies (10) Good night (1725) Bad night (542)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.

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  (224): That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass. http://tfl.nu/rpga
  Replies (11) Good night (633) Bad night (1050)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.

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  (773): Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather. http://tfl.nu/isyp
  Replies (10) Good night (1762) Bad night (660)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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  (281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (616)

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