Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.