Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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  (608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv
  Replies (25) Good night (3934) Bad night (653)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister

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  (409): so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister http://tfl.nu/4kg0
  Replies (56) Good night (9189) Bad night (2527)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."

  (815): View more from Illinois

  oh god.

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  (720): By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer." (815): oh god. http://tfl.nu/0mg8
  Replies (25) Good night (4773) Bad night (811)
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  (315): View more from New York

  thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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  (315): thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often. http://tfl.nu/bjyl
  Replies (25) Good night (3462) Bad night (2203)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go

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  (817): You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go http://tfl.nu/d1mz
  Replies (15) Good night (5339) Bad night (1396)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.

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  (770): Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses. http://tfl.nu/mf5n
  Replies (5) Good night (2480) Bad night (791)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote

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  (216): It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote http://tfl.nu/ew61
  Replies (4) Good night (1536) Bad night (1138)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.

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  (717): Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/70l7
  Replies (10) Good night (4910) Bad night (942)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday

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  (614): Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday http://tfl.nu/2snx
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (1948)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina

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  (360): 5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina http://tfl.nu/2med
  Replies (16) Good night (1972) Bad night (802)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".

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  (+44): Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff". http://tfl.nu/952s
  Replies (7) Good night (1133) Bad night (645)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?

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  (845): Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident? http://tfl.nu/4pg6
  Replies (1) Good night (830) Bad night (603)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?

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  (218): Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time? http://tfl.nu/ojrn
  Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (287)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

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  (615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy http://tfl.nu/f6ow
  Replies (5) Good night (730) Bad night (379)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (251)

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