Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (1188) Bad night (6356)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical" http://tfl.nu/2xah
  Replies (20) Good night (1339) Bad night (3140)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife. http://tfl.nu/71gc
  Replies (24) Good night (5589) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Ketchup is God's man juice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Ketchup is God's man juice http://tfl.nu/p9oo
  Replies (43) Good night (2866) Bad night (1542)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  suggestion: become a stripper.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed. (508): suggestion: become a stripper. http://tfl.nu/xaou
  Replies (22) Good night (4743) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function http://tfl.nu/ad1f
  Replies (9) Good night (2686) Bad night (1175)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today. http://tfl.nu/aa1v
  Replies (23) Good night (5416) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...

  (661): View more from California

  Sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges... (661): Sorry. http://tfl.nu/vg1q
  Replies (13) Good night (663) Bad night (1545)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party http://tfl.nu/d8gr
  Replies (4) Good night (1989) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (822) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS http://tfl.nu/mduw
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them. http://tfl.nu/b0nn
  Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (954) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself http://tfl.nu/5o6a
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well. http://tfl.nu/t3i8
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (181)

Randomize