So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys