i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
NoShamevember. You game?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
