Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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