margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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