I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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