we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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