U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
she looked like the before picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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