all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
