oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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